


Word I couldn´t say

by Freyja



Series: Steve and Danno Music History [2]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 17:10:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1518575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyja/pseuds/Freyja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So the question was how? <br/>He needed to find out and he was damned if he wasn´t going to fight for his SEAL.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Word I couldn´t say

Title: Words I couldn´t say  
Hey thanks amazing beta Sybillsdream for your help in this story.  
Song by Rascal Flatts.

“In a book in a box in the closet  
In a line in a song I once heard  
In a moment home in front porch late one June  
In a breath inside a whisper beneath the moon  
There it was at the tip of my fingers  
There it was on the tip of my tongue  
There you were and I have never been that far  
There it was the whole world wrap inside my arms  
And I let it all slip away…”

Danny´s POV   
He was watching TV and not paying any attention, he was drinking again; it had become a habit of his lately. He was cursing himself because of his stupidity, and he was alone, because he had thrown away the love of a great man.  
He was again listening to the same song that had become his partner since Steve told him no. Word for word, this song detailed his moronic behavior and in a way he understood why his ex-lover did what he did.  
He wasn´t OK, he had a ferocious internal battle with the fact that he needed to admit to himself that he was a least bisexual, it was difficult for him to understand that he wasn´t a monster for loving another man.  
He understood that he wasn´t ready for the relationship Steve offered him but he didn´t have to hurt Steve that much.  
Now he knew that fear had been a factor because it was too much; but, instead of telling Steve and facing together what he felt, he hurt the man that only was offering to love him.

“What do I do now that you´re gone?   
No backup plan, no second chance   
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear is the silence that remains   
And the words I couldn´t say…” 

Loving Steve was easy, he was a beautiful man, despite everything that he went through, he was a warm man willing to love openly. Steve didn´t hide, he knew that his confidence came from learning from bad experiences and he tried to help him overcome his fear but Danny wasn´t ready and it all went to hell.  
He looked for help and received it, it helped him understand his own internal process and he decided that he was ready for Steve and was so confident that Steve was going to do what he wanted that he never stopped for a minute to think about what he had done to his lover.  
Steve´s words were still there haunting him.

“Me a functional mute had put out there everything and you threw it all in my face no care whatsoever I know it’s difficult to be with me I am a man with a lot of baggage but I tried Danny for you, for us. When I realized my feelings were deeper than just a regular fuck I tried to express myself, to tell you how I felt and you didn´t care but I kept trying, waiting and hoping and wishing but it never happened. Like I said I lost my will to fight for you, and I am happy, really happy that you got the help that you needed to understand what everyone knows that you´re an amazing man, and that there is nothing wrong with you just because you´re gay and maybe we could be friends but right now I can´t be with you because I lost the meaning of us, and I don´t know if there is love enough to save what we had”

Now he didn´t know what to do. He wants his lover back but he doesn´t know what to do to make Steve regain the will and hope he had in them. Danny tried everything to fix his marriage with Rachel but this wasn´t the same because with her it was simple and when he was ready he knew they weren´t in love anymore and even when it hurt him he knew; but, with Steve it was different love was there, they were in love but Danny didn´t want to face it and Steve lost the will to fight it for the both of them, Steve in the end needed to protect himself so he got himself out of the mess Danny was, even when it cost him a lot, because he wasn´t a fool, Danny knew he had broken Steve´s heart.

“There is a rain that it never stop falling  
There is a wall that I´ve tried to take down  
What I should it say just wouldn´t pass my lips  
So I held back and now we´ve come to this   
And is too late now  
What do I do now that you´re gone?   
Not back up plan, not second chance   
And no one else to blame  
All I can hear is the silence that remains   
And the words I couldn´t say…”

 

He needed to try and fix what may have been the greatest love of his life; he needed that man again with a desperation that sometimes scared him. He wanted to be happy and he knew without a single doubt that he will only be happy with Steve back at his side.  
He was filled with questions and some certain things like the fact that Chin and Kono will play a big part in getting Steve back, so first he needed them back. He needed to prove to them that he wasn´t going to hurt their beloved boss, he needed them to know that he had found the words to build what he had lost again or build something new and healthier with the man he loved.  
He had his daughters’ support, she loved the SEAL, she told him that much and let him know that no one could compare to him.  
So that left only his family and Rachel, and both surprised him by laughing in his face and telling him that they knew. His momma told him that it was in his voice when he talked about “the crazy Neanderthal moronic idiot with a death wish” and Rachel told him it was in his eyes when they were together and looked at each other, she let him know that it was OK, that he simply loved another person it didn´t matter to her that he was a man and Stan didn´t have a say in the matter.  
So the question was how?   
He needed to find out and he was damned if he wasn´t going to fight for his SEAL.  
TBC


End file.
